The Pause I Never Expected… And How It Shifted Our Entire Family

Hello my loves,

When I was recording the November Energy Forecast, I would have never guessed how it would manifest…

(If you missed the November Energy Forecast or just need a refresher, I highly recommend listening on Youtube, Apple, or Spotify.)

Most of my clients have had some kind of illness this month. Some were unable to get out of bed for multiple days! Tis the season… and also we are emotionally purging. (Remember that phrase I kept mentioning in the forecast: “It’s coming up to come out.”)

This month is a purge, release, and recalibration period. An intentional slow down designed by your soul. A request from the Universe for presence. This month has brought with it a chance to go inward and look at where you’ve been, what needs released to move forward, and where you’re going next.

I want to share the story of what I’ve been moving through with my family, in the hopes that it helps you too!

On 11/11, my (almost) 8 year old son Hudson broke his elbow on a playdate. What followed was an intense evening of me rushing him to urgent care, his body shaking uncontrollably through x-rays as he almost passed out from the pain, and the doctor telling us we needed to immediately leave for the children's hospital. He had to stay in the hospital overnight and have surgery on his elbow the next morning.

Hudson’s first week of recovery was rough. He woke up crying in discomfort every few hours. He was so frustrated that he couldn’t do much of anything by himself. His pain was often followed by extreme itchiness. He was missing his independence, his routines, his friends, and most of all being active.

My girls were upset that Hudson was co-sleeping again (something we’ve done on and off with all the kids for years now). So I took them in the primary bedroom and my husband took Hudson in the guest room. Not long after, both the girls got coughs and sniffles that kept me awake every night.

By the end of the week, the 24/7 care of Hudson + the girls had me exhausted and crying out: “Please God, I can’t take much more!”

I knew that underneath the exhaustion, I also hadn’t processed my emotions about the situation. The shock and fear I experienced witnessing my son screaming and shaking in pain. The frustration of our entire month being uprooted, as I cleared my schedule, rearranged clients + appointments, and cancelled the Bahamas trip we had been looking forward to for months. The tugging on my energy by my littles - having no alone time for days, which is something I require immensely to recharge.

When I had moved through the emotion, I finally went into meditation to ask why this happened, what lessons we are learning as individuals + as a family, and what the opportunity is in all of this. 

It’s no coincidence that Hudson broke his elbow on 11/11 of all days (hello manifestation), and that Coco fractured her elbow exactly three weeks prior! 

My soul immediately reminded me how I’ve been choosing a “word of the month” lately. A way to intentionally enter each month by choosing and focusing on that energy…

Any guesses what my word was?

PRESENCE.

Then I saw flashes of myself doing the thing I said I’d never do. From my first year of motherhood, I always said that I would cultivate a career in which I worked in the mornings and was present with my children in the afternoons and evenings. Of course there would be exceptions, but that was always my goal and I’ve stuck to it for the most part. Or so I thought…

I saw images of myself sitting on my computer and my phone when the kids got home from school - finishing up bits and pieces of work, sending client emails, and responding to friends’ texts from the morning. I saw my kids making small bids for attention. And I saw myself continuously saying, “Mommy just needs five more minutes.”

Tears welled up in my eyes. I had gotten this message back in October - I knew I was faltering with my presence when it came to the kids. Other people acted as messengers for me as well. It seemed like every time I was out and about, someone would tell me how much they missed the stage of parenting I was in. Or that they wished they had spent more time with their kids when they were little vs working.

So I made “presence” my word of the month for November. My silent commitment to my family… but I still wasn’t changing anything.

Sometimes you need a good knock down from the Universe to really learn the lesson.

This has been a huge wake up call for both myself and my husband. We’ve been moving through new levels in the lessons of presence, patience, unconditional love, flow, and surrender. Taking every day of Hudson’s healing slowly (he’s doing amazing this week btw!). Making more space to individually fill each child’s cup. Rearranging our priorities- permanently.

With Hudson’s elbow break, his soul came through clearly with messages as well. (And this feels like a message for someone reading too!) He likes being seen as “the easy one.” The oldest child who can handle things on his own. The one who doesn’t stress his parents. But he still needs a lot from us…

Deep down, Hudson was feeling sad, angry, and resentful about his lack of attention. He wants to be seen and loved for his quiet, sensitive self. He also feels a bit left out with the girls being so close in age, always doing their thing together. There was a feeling coming through of “But where do I fit in this family?” Hudson’s elbow break was both a cry for more attention and a physical release of pent up emotions.

This has been a tough pill to swallow as a mother who is so deeply devoted to her children. At the same time, I’m thankful that I am moving through this lesson when my children are still little.

And really, is it ever too late to learn a lesson and course correct??

I share this with you as a gentle reminder to look at where you can be more present with your loved ones. The week before this happened, I hosted a beautiful event for mothers to slow down, get centered + aligned, and learn how to protect their peace no matter what comes (the irony of the timing, right?!) 

I had so many clients reach out saying they wished they were local and could join. So I recorded episode 41: “Move From Burnout To Thriving: The Conscious Mama Guide To The Holidays,” available on Youtube, Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I’d love to hear how the podcast and this newsletter land, so hit reply or send me a message on Instagram. Wishing you your most present + connected holiday season yet!

From My Light To Yours,

Xo Lyndsey